Help Me I’m Here Poems to Myself by Anastasia Helena Fenald is a collection of poems by the author as a teenager and the author as an adult. This book was given to me for free as an advanced reader copy to review from voraciousreadersonly.com. The idea of reading something you wrote as a teen and then responding to it as an adult intrigued me from the get-go.
One of the first poems that I related to was “I’m Here.” I related to this as this was part of what I needed someone to tell me as a teenager. I had many moments of worry and fear. I also was way too kind to people which made me get taken advantage of at times. Because of these situations, I was very stressed out. I needed a way to channel or talk it out. Adult me sees how strong these situations made me much stronger than I could have imagined during my teen years.
The poems “Finding Me” and “Lost and Found” got my attention and made me think as well. I related to this poem in a not-as-dark way. Whereas I never contemplated death, I had the fear of the unknown. I can remember in high school hating it and wanting college to hurry up. I remember sitting at my high school graduation, in 2011, and thinking oh crap, this is it. You're supposed to be this adult now that knows what you want to do, and where you want to go. I am so clueless. I also had moments where I was thinking finally! I can do this! Nothing can stop me now. All I have to do is try. Teenage me thought I would completely be sure of myself and have my act together. Here I am almost 30, still uncertain about things, taking life moment by moment. Completely unsure of what I want to be when I grow up.
The poem, “Aging” makes so much sense to me at this moment. We are both at that age where we aren't necessarily old but we are grasping for every inch of youth that we can. I have my moments where I could eat a few too many cupcakes. Dance or sing off-key to just put ourselves in a better mood. Going home early to get away from people and staying up late watching TV or reading a book. Things I have been doing since childhood. Not necessarily keeping our childhood innocence, more of remaining true to ourselves at our core.
“When did I forget to write” and “Writing doesn’t define us” were two poems that made me ask myself some questions. Where did my time for hobbies go? Where is my time for reflection? Where was all this time I had not that long ago to do whatever I wanted versus what I needed? Why does life have to get in the way of these things as you age? Do we have to let life get in the way? These are the questions that these poems bring to the surface for me as writing is not necessarily my first choice when it comes to creative outlets but the poem still got me.
The poem “1 AM” was relatable to me as well. Inspiration can come from anywhere, anything, and at any time. You just have to be open to it. Just let it flow. I have gotten inspired in the middle of the night, the middle of the workday, and even in the car. This has happened to me many times.
While the poems were darker than I expected, I could relate to them in many ways. The ones mentioned above are just a few examples. This may be in part because the author and I are roughly about the same age. We may not share the same background, but we do share some common ground. I would recommend this book to any high-level thinkers that can reflect and dig deep, especially teens or older.
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